Spiders and aphids and snails, oh my!

Jeff and I spent this weekend as we spend most weekends... doing yard work.  Oh, what I'd give to be able to go to Santa Barbara or Paso Robles for the weekend!  Alas... not anytime in the near future.  And I do have to admit that the thought of going wine tasting after the transplant when I am not supposed to drink is kind of stupid.  Guess I'll be DD.  Damn Depressing.  Oh, sorry... designated driver :-P

So we spend our time fixing up our little yard.  Actually, the backyard is quite nice.  We pruned back the rosemary bush, weeded, mulched and decided to throw some squash and zukes in the newly cleaned out bed to see if they'll grow.  We also pruned the crap out of our dwarf mandarin orange tree and our normal sized orange tree (do NOT get me started on why someone would plant two freakin' orange trees in a yard the size of a postage stamp).  The dwarf was covered in aphids.  Lovely.  The apple tree has disease on one side.  Lovely.  And the orange tree is covered in snails, ants and aphids.  And spiders.  Lots and lots and lots of spiders.  I had been spraying the trees with neem oil, but it's like trying to stop a flood with a paper towel.

Jeff has been shaking the tree to get the rotten oranges out and to break up the spiderwebs.  Brave man, my Jeffie.  There is no way in hell I would have rotten oranges and spiders falling down on my head! We have been kind of disappointed with the oranges.  The rinds are really thick and they aren't juicy.  Sweet, yes.  Juicy, no.  Then Jeff had the brilliant idea that maybe the tree isn't getting enough water.  Duh.  That's just one of the reasons I keep him around, folks.  Cuz he's one heck of a smart dude :-)

There are so many spiders around our house.  Not inside our house, though.  They are teeny weeny but they build webs everywhere!  We have a "spider stick" that we use to knock down webs every time they turn up.  These spiders don't freak me out nearly as much as the ones in Florida did.  Did I mention that I refinished a piece of furniture outside, brought it inside, and looked up one night to discover hundreds of baby spiders on my ceiling?  No?  Well, I don't recommend letting a spider attach itself, lay eggs, and then have them hatch in your master bedroom.  After I stopped screaming, I left the room, shut the door and made Jeff vacuum them up when he got home from flying.  I debated sleeping in the guest room that night.  I hate spiders.  A LOT.

And then we have snails.  I'm not just talking about a few.  Like since moving in we have probably cleaned out and killed 60+ snails throughout our flower beds.  We bought snail repellent.  I hope it works.  The snails are gross.  I pluck them off my orange tree a few times a week.

So Jeff and I went to The Smoking Goat for dinner one night several weeks ago.  French cuisine.  Yummy.  They have escargot on the menu.  The last time I had escargot was on a cruise ship when I was 18.  They were delicious.  Jeff says it reminds him of our snail problem.  I tell him he's silly and that they are really tasty- we should try them!!  They come out.  And they remind me of our snail problem.  I choked them down because I don't want to admit that he was right... it is a bad idea to order an animal to eat that you spend time trying to kill in your yard.  I like to think that I am smart.  But sometimes I am really, really, really dumb.

I am too chicken to tackle the front yard.  It's beyond hideous.  I will take pics and show you.  And I'd love some advice on what you think I should plant!  But it's 1 am now and dark, so no pics tonight (this morning?).  And it's time for me to go to back to bed and try to sleep.  Insomnia stinks.