Almost on the list

First, for those not on Facebook or who missed the video, PLEASE watch this. It is a beautiful, touching video from a PH group in China.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hH8VZoc8pkw&feature=youtu.be

I think it sums up what I've felt for the past 5 years. And yes, my 92 year old Grandma can climb stairs better than I can :-(

But on to other news.... the transplant team met yesterday to discuss my case and they decided to list me with UCSD. The doctor called me last night to let us know. I am not on the list yet... there are a few loose ends that need to be tied up and the insurance has to now approve the transplant (I guess the previous approvals were for the testing to see if I was eligible for a transplant- gotta love insurance!). I will probably be listed with UNOS very soon (like by next week). UNOS is the United Network for Organ Sharing and they are the ones who manage the transplant system.

Based on what the doctor told me, I can expect to be very near the top of UCSD's list. Very near the top. So on the day I'm listed, I could get the call. This will probably happen very soon. Perhaps within weeks, almost certainly within a few months. I am a bit freaked out, I'll be honest. I truly thought I had more time! But it's good if it happens quickly. I won't have time to overthink any of this :-)

I'm kind of in a daze- terrified of leaving behind the life I know, even with its limitations, terrified about the new things I'll have to get used to and excited about really simple things like being able to climb stairs. I am looking at this transplant as a way to get past all of the shit of the past decade and start over fresh. I've paid my dues. It's time for me to reap some benefits.

Oh, and I really want someone in the OR to take a picture of my old lungs. I need to arrange that. I want to see the damn lungs that caused all of this! I would love to be able to squeeze them, but I'm pretty sure they won't let me touch them. Plus, I'll be in sleepyland for quite a while. They do want to send my lungs off to cut 'em up and do research with them. Of course I said yes! I love it.

I am having dinner at Jake's in Del Mar tonight with Holly and Johann and then we're going to see "Totem" by Cirque Du Soleil at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. I am super excited! A reason to get gussied up and take a shower!!